February 2011
17 posts
Oh, Happy Days
I’ve been spending my evening watching Happy Days and eating green tea ice cream.
Right now it’s the episode where Potsie wants to drop out of school because he is failing anatomy and Fonzie convinces him to stay in school by getting him to learn a song about the heart pumping the blood. Also, Fonzie intimidates Potsie’s teacher into giving him a good grade.
This makes me...
January 2011
22 posts
1 tag
Neil Casey: Why is it that stand ups and other hosts always insist on engaging with you when you’re in the audience?
Me: I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because I have a misleadingly sweet face?
Neil: Yeah, thats probably it. They are expecting you to respond with some sort of whimsical charm and instead they get pure robot.
Mike Birbiglia to sleep in Macy's display window... →
um, yes!
Me: Hey Mom, want to hear something cool?
Mom: Will Hines is going to get $50,000 because someone else is getting a million?
Me: Um, yes. I guess I don’t have anything to tell you.
halphillips:
You can’t let people choose which Muppet they’d be if they were a Muppet. Most people, or at least most comedians, will choose Fozzie or Gonzo.
But let’s not kid ourselves: if you take any Gonzo scene and imagine me in his place saying the same things, it works.
I am Rolf minus the musical talent.
Rejected Weekend Update Jokes
While interning at SNL I am writing potential Weekend Update jokes. Since none of the ones that I wrote this week got picked, I thought I would share what I wrote.
1. Former House majority leader Tom Delay was sentenced on Monday to three years in prison for money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering. Delay said, “I can’t be remorseful for something I don’t...
Please explain how I am different now that I am an...
#diddygethard buttons are now only $2 each or 3...
i got a better deal getting them made than I originally thought, so I was able to lower my prices. I’m not concerned about making money, but I would like to make back the money that I spent getting these things made.
Also my new astrological sign is Ophiuchus, whatever the fuck that means.
Freddie Mercury Biopic Starring Sacha Baton Cohen... →
Yes! Yes! Yes!
#DiddyGethard Buttons On Sale
Hey Friends and Enemies Alike,
I’m selling #DiddyGethard Buttons. They are $5 each or two for $7. They are a limited run with only 100 available. If you would like to buy one (or many!) please email DiddyGethardSwag@gmail.com
Each button is a square with the following image:
I hope that when I'm super famous, this is still... →
Watchtotallymorgan:
THE TRAILER TO MY FILM “THE REST OF CAESAR”
With Neil Casey, Susan Casey, James Dwyer, Morgan Evans, Rob Lathan, Andrew Secunda, Addison Anderson, Craig Gilbert, Emily Hoffman, Patrick Hroncich, Jess Lane, Dyna Moe and Matt Starr. You could say it’s a veritable “who’s who” of the NY comedy scene though i’d advise against it.
I’m in this.
Happy New Year
For several months I told myself “Im going to do standup by the end of the year.” Last night I finally did. Way to just make it in under the wire!
Matt Dennie’s show at Otto’s Shrunken Head was one of the most fun shows I’ve ever been to. It’s not every day I get to take my clothes off for comedy (though I probably do this more than most people I know)...